06 Mar March Forth
March 4th is the only day that is also a sentence.
I changed my major to creative writing on that day in 2015. I remember the time clearly.
It was kind of hot out. I mean, this is Florida. I had a sweater though because the buildings at my college were always uncomfortably chilly. I walked from the art building down to the now-demolished English building that also housed the First Year Explorations advising offices. I asked about a walk-in appointment and waited a few minutes for a lady to come talk to me. She was able to show me how to change my major on one of the computers near the waiting area. It was very non-ceremonial and as she was just a general advisor, she couldn’t tell me much about the English programs. But I was celebrating on the inside.
I had finally stopped lying to myself.
Before changing my major, before going to college even, I told myself even though it would be so awesome to be an author one day that it wasn’t worth trying. It wasn’t worth it because why would anyone ever care to read my stories?
Of course this is a stupid reason to abandon a dream. Sure, stay grounded in reality but don’t wallow in self-depreciation. There’s a fine line between giving up and giving in. Never give up, and only give in after you’ve given your all.
In my second semester of college, I was in three design classes for my major and one English class. I dreaded the design classes. They turned something I loved into a chore, a competition, and another way for me to think less of myself. It had to change.
And so I decided to stop lying to myself and go back to what I’ve always wanted to do—write.
But sometimes I still lie to myself.
I tell myself I don’t have enough time to write today, tomorrow, whenever.
I recently saw an Instagram post that said something along the lines of replacing your “I don’t have time” caveat with “it’s not a priority.” And that hurt.
Of course writing is a priority for me. So why do I keep telling myself I don’t have time? I have to make time. I have to do what I did four years ago and make a change.
It won’t be easy. Changing and creating a routine won’t just happen because I want it to. That’s why it’s taken this long for me to be intentional with my creative writing.
I want to get up in the morning and write first thing. My plan is to try this time of the day first and see how it goes. I’m not a morning person but I want to be, and I want to write so it might just work.
I will be intentional and prioritize writing moving forward.
I’ll march forth, and you should too.
What’s holding you back from pursuing your dream? What are you considering giving up on because you’re lying to yourself about what you’re truly capable of? I know it’s easier said than done, but you’ve got this. We’ve got this.
Let’s march forth.